Living Water on My Worship Walk (Warning: Long Post!)

Have you ever felt the need to just "be still"?

It is one of the hardest things for me to do, in almost all ways possible.  I am constantly on the move. . . I am dancing fidgeting usually to some tune in my head or my brain is making lists, solving problems or  even solving problems that may or "more times" may not happen.  But on the "What if" scenario's. . I'm covered right?!?

Anyway, today I felt like I was moving and thinking in super sonic speed and really needed to "be still".  In the sense that I mean is, I was craving to "get with God".  This may sound totally weird, especially if you are not a Christian.  I am in a new season that I have never been in before. . . or at least didn't "feel" like this.  (I'm a woman. . how I "feel" is important.) In this season, I'm thirsty.

I have been a Christian a long time.  In fact, almost my whole life.  I was raised in the church and am a granddaughter to pastors.  My family never really introduced Christ or prayer or anything of that nature to me because. . . I was born into it - I was never formally introduced.  In fact, at 6 years old I was in Sunday School and walked up to the front and told them all about Christ and even memorized scripture that came pretty much second nature to me then informed the teacher that I didn't ever remember "formally" asking Jesus into my heart and feared that I've always known him but I wanted to be "saved" for sure.   The Sunday School teacher led me through a sweet prayer of asking Jesus to forgive me of my sins and to live in my heart.  I was so excited. . . until my mom came to pick me up.

My Sunday School teacher, Marybeth told my mom about my new salvation and my mom started laughing hysterically.  . . . My 6 year old brain didn't understand.  I marched over there in my beautiful "can-can" (you know with all the ruffles underneath the skirt that all little girls love to twirl in!) dress and asked what in the world was so funny. (I'm positive with my hands on my hips with my hip cocked. . . I get it from my mom, in fact).  She told me that I have been saved for a long time and that I have asked Jesus into my heart many times before. . . huh? I didn't remember that . . . but for me - that was my "salvation" moment.  (and my mother laughed. . . . that laughter would come back to haunt her in about 10 years but that's another story for another day)

So needless to say, I've been a Christian a long time.  I have definitely walked through seasons in my life, some so sweet that they were almost heavenly and some of sheer rebellion and complete selfishness & sin on my part.  I have always grown and kept walking, usually at a quick pace.

In this new season I'm in, I crave quality time with God.  I'm so thirsty!! I've always had little "snippets" of time of whatever I have carved out but today. . . I made time.  I took the time to weigh out what I wanted.  I could have walked in from work and sat down to read (favorite pastime) or I could grab my shoes and just walk and pray.

I grabbed my shoes and decided to go walk.

I was sore from CrossFit (I just started and am incredibly sore) and felt like I could walk, pray/worship with just me & God. (with the added bonus of getting some soreness out)

Have y'all heard of spotify? It's awesome and I love it - I cranked up some worship music and started singing in my raspy, laryngitis voice (that sprang on me after singing in church yesterday).  It was not a pretty sound by any stretch of the imagination but I think it was some of my most genuine singing and time with the Lord.  I didn't care if I hit my notes just right or sang too loud. . I just wanted to express how I felt. Singing is my "thing". . I love to sing and it's sometimes the best way for me to convey how I feel.

I thought, prayed, and sung my little heart out.

And somewhere along the way, in my tired, slow & sore walk . . . the Lord refilled my cup.

It's crazy how that happens! Every time I'm tired but go ahead and go against my flesh of self satisfaction to focus on God and spend time with Him - alone time or bible study time or whatever - I always feel renewed & restored.  I'm so thankful for it.

Shared with me at church by Lane Oliver & Adrian Hernandez:
Remember the Samaritan woman at the well?  Jesus went to her - a scorned, unmarried Samaritan. . . Jew's hated Samaritan's back in those days.  In fact, Jews wouldn't even walk on Samaritan sand. . . they would bypass the town to avoid Samaritans.  Why? Because they were considered to be "half breeds".  There were lots of battles and wars and Samaritans came by the mixing of villages/peoples. (another history lesson on this later but seriously interesting & I enjoy history!)

Anyway, a Jewish Man (of all people) was sitting at the well of Samaria and asked this woman for a drink of water.  This woman was shocked!! Didn't he know who she was by the town gossip?  She was considered unclean.  An adulteress.  She even lived with a man that she wasn't married to even then!! But the Son of God, Jesus Christ, himself asked this woman for a drink of water and then explained to her that He was living water and that she would thirst no more. . . . you can read the story at John 4:1-40.

Anywho - Jesus told us that He is living water.  If we only drink water on Sundays and no water during the week. . . we would die. . . or be severely weak & dehydrated!  So spiritually, we must go to Jesus for living water so that our souls are healthy and renewed. . . . My walk felt like a fresh drink of cool, clear water after a hard day's work.  It was so refreshing.

Have you drank your living water today?


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I'm still here. . . .

Can you believe it!?!

I read over my last two posts and I must admit say that I'm pretty much in the same spot and yet feel completely different.  WHAT!?! Does that even make sense?

                                                 Last year in May, I blogged about . . .  

1) keeping my kiddos home for a week and how much I enjoyed having them home without the hustle and bustle and yet worried over getting the kiddos back to school . . . .

2) working on eating right & losing weight. . .still . . .

3) cleaning that darn kitchen. . .

                                                        Today here is where I am-

1) We are battling the kiddos to get back to "school" (daycare) because we have been in Colorado at my parent's place and none of us wanted to come home. . . . EVER!!

2) I am pretty much the same weight and still working on my eating and weight - in this regard I am a little sad that it's been a full year or more and I'm still at the same weight without much progress (or visible progress, I should say). . . but on the other hand - I am not giving up and will continue to keep going and will succeed because I won't give up! (and I have started crossfit and it's a KILLER!)

3) MY KITCHEN is a MESS.  Eric and I have made the decision to "GUT" our home and create a whole new kitchen.  Can we say "CRAZY!" Seriously, What were we thinking!?! Here's a little documentation.

No sink, water, nothing. . . . hoping that this wraps up quickly & beautifully.  

Anywho. . . .  just a quick post on the immediate look on the Bartlett Family. And to pretty much let you know that I'm still here and (need to be better about documenting our lives for my sweet family). 

LOVE!

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Wakin' up Wednesday!

Good Morning!!

How are you this morning?

This week is so crazy and I'm kinda enjoying it but I'm sure it would get old fast.  My boys day care is out for this week, so I'm enjoying having them and not having to wake up and rush out the door to get to "school" and then off to work.  (but I'm not looking forward to next week when they want to stay with mommy). . . my heart is breaking already.

My hubby is a police officer and is currently on night shift and it's been rough.  (I am completely spoiled about him helping me, when he can, but when he's on night shift - um, its nada.) I am seriously praying for a new position within his department, to open that will be M-F, day shift.  - God says he cares about our requests!! (thank you Lord!)

So the boys are watching cartoons this morning and I have weighed, cleaned up the kitchen (from last night) - a bit of a pet peeve of mine. . . Eric eats at night after I go to bed and I hate waking up to a dirty kitchen! And you know he has to use every dish . . . sigh. . . but - no worries, I got his back.  

Where was I? Oh yeah, - I have weighed, cleaned the kitchen and have eaten some yummy oatmeal.

What? You wanna know how my weight did. . . well - even after one day I'm pleased to say I have dropped 2 lbs.  I'm sure it's water weight, but I don't care - it's in the right direction!!! Who woulda thought I would be excited about 195 but I am. . . it's one step closer!! (Thank you Jesus for weight loss!) And again - I am determined to eat well and kick some calories off!

I have praise practice tonight and a women's group that I will be attending tonight so I always look forwards to Wednesdays.  I have joined the Praise Team at our Church and it is such a delight - truly - to be on the team.  What awesome peeps to sing with and praise our King!!

I do have a quick prayer request:
I have a sweet, wonderful friend that is going through a wonderful but intense, year long program called Mission Messiah to claim victory over her life and battles with Jesus!  She has been there three weeks (working on 4, I think) and I just love her so much and want to do everything I can to support her and love on her! If you have some extra time - please be in prayer for her.  - I am grateful for your thoughts and prayers for her!!

In other news - Our life group (small groups from church) had 7 be baptized last night!! AWESOME!! I'm sad that I wasn't able to make it and rejoice with my sweet life group family but I'm in celebration just the same.  Can't you imagine the angels rejoicing, in celebration, over their act of faithfulness in being baptized?  AH-MAZING!

Okay, peeps.  I'm gonna get up and get these crazy boys dressed and head over to my mom's to swim.

See ya'll later!!




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Takin' on Tuesday

Whew!! What a day, right!?!  It has been a long day for me.

Some accomplishments that I did get done today:

1) Work out - it was hard! but felt sooooo good. (glad it's done!)

2) I ate GOOD today! I am so proud of myself.  For some this may be no big deal to you but to me, it's huge.  I have a REALLY bad habit of starting the day off well and then ending it terrible calorie-wise.  Not today, sugar face! I rock my 1200 calories and that was all.  (taking a bow) thank you, thank you, thank you.

3) Work - Is it me or is work just crazy booming?  Which is AWESOME but keeps me flying around by the seat of my pants to get things signed, paid, take payment, invoice, payroll. . it goes on and on.  I'm praising the Lord for it! We need it!!

4) I drank all my water today. . . I got in half of my weight in ounces down!! That's ALOT!

5) I did my American duty - I voted and I'll tell you later how things come out but for now, I'm a proud American.

6) I told my husband and my children that I love them today.  (I strive to do that everyday, but I don't want it to fall through the cracks, ya know?)

How's your day going?

I am starting back on my weight loss journey and have decided I should blog more. . . I have missed going back and reading and decided to write here.

I'm scared to tell you of fear of judgement but I'm going to just blurt it out and cover my eyes. . . .I weigh . . . Lord, help me overcome my fear and help my friends keep their judgments to their selves.

I weighed 197 today.  (take deep breaths and tears fall down my face)

I ride such a crappy roller coaster on my weight and I have decided I will take control day by day.  But I feel overwhelmed looking at the long haul.  So I'm setting a 10 lb. goal.  Please join me in prayer!! Pray that I make healthy, good meal choices and keep my butt moving!!

I don't feel like I look that heavy but when I see myself in the mirror or pictures, I am surprised.  I am much thinner in my head.

So I have put my junk in the light - there ya have it.  God can bring beauty from ashes and I'm beautiful - that I do know.  I am beautiful in His sight, even with my curves and cellulite but I want to be healthy and honorable to myself and my body - this temple and shell He has given to me.

So let's get this party started!! Day 1 - done!


(please be kind - I'm more tender hearted than I look)



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A New Day

Hi guys!! Wow - it seems like I haven't been here in a while. . .and really I haven't.  I just reread my last post and it made me smile with such sweet joy. Oh that was such a bittersweet time.  It was a hard time with an almost 1 yr and 2 yr olds  and toddler attitudes but it was also so sweet because there is nothing sweeter than sloppy kisses and your toddler barreling at you as fast as he can with his arms outstretched towards you. . . hmmm good times. 











So - now Jake is 3 and Jaxson is 2! All I can say is. . . it was the best of times, it was the worst of times! HA!!  I love how indepedent they are becoming and how much they WANT to be independent but also very much needing us. 

Jake (3yr)  ready to go fishing with his Daddy!

Jake is a momma's boy! Jaxson is a daddy's boy! That has never been more apparent as it is right now in this season of our lives!! Thankfully Jake is potty trained and pretty independent. He is adventurous and LOVES being outside.  The only thing that can be frustrating about him is he can be whiney!! It drive Eric bonkers!! I will sometimes have to intercept him so that his daddy doesn't go nuts on him about his whining but for the most part - great kid!  He is very determined, head strong and likes to have it his way - I wonder where he gets any of these qualities from!?!

       Jaxson (2 yr) playing in the car!

Jaxson - my sweet lovebug - He is now 2 and is following in his brother's footsteps. He very much wants to be a big boy like Jake.  We haven't potty trained yet (at this very second, I'm summoning the umph to do this potty training ordeal again, it was super easy with Jake after a couple of days but the thought of cleaning soiled superman underwear  again just doesn't sound like fun - but on the other hand, I will be so grateful when it's done!!)  Anyway, Jaxson is a bit more laid back, relaxed and pretty much goes along with most everything Jake wants or says to do.  But Eric and I are starting to glimpse a little master mind at work.  He's so much more sly than Jake and it's funny to see him work a situation, even Jake, to his advantage.  - Whoever said kids aren't smart. . . . yikes!

The boys are very much into swimming, jumping on the trampolene and sliding!! They love the park or indoor playgrounds, it's so funny to watch them interact with one another and other kids as they play!!  - Sweet boys (for the most part)

Eric and I are doing well. (for the most part)  Eric is going through a season of transition and it's taking a toll on him which of course has an effect on our marriage.  He decided to close The Brand down after some deliberation and prayer and now is looking for a job.  Right now he is doing some investigating work on the side for a Company in Midland.  He would really like to stay with them but for now, they don't have a position open.  - So we will see - Praying that the Lord will guide Eric to where he needs to be.

I am doing pretty good.  I am still working at PPT and have also gotten involved with Women's Bible Study group that I LOVE.  I so enjoy diving into the Word that is God breathed and also LOVE the comradre and fellowship of such sweet women.  I have met several new friends through this study and look forward to continuing. 

In fact since I last blogged or maybe shortly before my last blog, Eric and I have joined a church home, joined a life group (couples bible study group) and started teaching Sunday school to the 4 year olds.  It's been life changing for the BEST!  By no means are we perfect or is life easy but it sure makes a much better difference with the love of Jesus!!

Since I'm posting all the good stuff - I might as well tell ya what I am struggling with so you know that I'm not just candy coating to make my life sound so great or something.  So. . . I am really struggling with my weight.  sigh . Much like most women, it is an issue that I loathe, in fact I don't even wanna talk about it right now. BUT - today, I got my butt up and went an swam at the gym this morning before work.  I know it's only the first day, but I did it and for today - I feel good about it.  I have two sweet friends that will be meeting me at the gym tomorrow morning to swim a few laps and we will see how things go.  Also - I ordered the book - "Made to Crave" so I'll let ya know how that goes.

I gotta get to work but you got the basics! Love ya!

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A few of my favorites!

Awwww Sweet Loving!!

Let's Play Mommy!!

Jaxson (getting more teeth!)

Jaxson

Jake 35 mths

Jaxson and Jake

Jaxson 23 Mths

Jake - too cool for school!

Jake-y  (my sweet boy!)

I can't help but share a few pics of my babies!!Pin It

Trust Journey - Day 1

Hi there. . . okay.  I must tell you there have been some major stuff going on in my life but God is doing some awesome growing and stretching to Eric and I.  I am believing in God, in complete faith that He is building our family on HIS foundation.  It has definately not been easy.   Turning away from sinful nature never is, but finally confessing and starting a new has been one of the most difficult things that I have done, HOWEVER, God is faithful and loving and full of GRACE!! (and it's been freedom)  He has met me on my knees (actually on my face) crying out to him for healing, forgiveness and love.  He has granted all this to me and I must say it's been amazing.  I know for myself that Satan has tried to bring me down, break my heart and break everyone else's heart in the process and my God will NOT allow it!!  He is our REDEEMER and friend and I'm so wonderfully thankful for Him and His love. 

*side note* I leave on Friday to go on a women's retreat - "unveiled" and I'm so excited and very nervous!! I was just reading up on in and we are not to wear make up and not to bring hair spray!! (they haven't met this Texas gal)!! - but I willingly go and will do what is asked of me so that I can go deeper in my walk with my King. . . so please be in prayer that my heart be opened and renewed.  Thank you so much!!

Day 1 in my Trust Journey . . . 
1 Samuel 3:9 "Go and lie down, and if he calls you, say "Speak Lord, for your servant is listening."  So Samuel went and lay down."

(excert from my devotional) "Today the Lord desires to speak to each of us.  In our confustion we ask, "Why is it so hard to discern his voice?"  Would it be easier if he sent a text message or posted it on some holy blog?  Interestingly, it is when we quiet ouerselves long enough to listen that we hear his vioce.  Like Samuel, rest in the assurance that God will speak to you.  His love compels him to speak.  In John 4:16, we read that "God is love".  Love wants conversation and interaction.  By faith, trust him, listen to him.  Be ready to respond, "Speak Lord, for your servant is listening."

Wow. . right!?!  After I read my daily devotional, I closed my eyes and waited. . . . and waited.  Then I thought, well I'll go ahead and start so I started praying outloud.  I praised Him for the love and grace that He has brought me.  I thanked him for being sufficient enough for me.  I told him that I longed for Him that I wanted to discern His voice . . . silence . . . then, in a voice so quiet I could hardly hear it.  I was straining to hear it.  The voice inside of me that only God can use. . . Let me calm your seas.  I am the Master Weaver and I know what I'm doing.  Let  me show you a love that's everlasting.  Let me lead you into waters that lap against you with warmth and love.  Let me guide you, in all your ways - lean on me.  Don't listen to the outside.  Don't listen to what everyone is saying, listen to me.  I see what they can not.  I love like they can not.  I heal, I redeem and love because I am God and without me, no one else can do these things.  (As I began typing what is in my soul, it's like . . it keeps coming.  a little louder. . . )

I love you and you are mine.  Of course I want to talk to you.  You seem so busy with what you think is important but I want you to slow down.  Look for me and I will reveal my face to you.  You can not imagine the beautiful works I have in store for you . . . . stop.  If you will let me love you like I can . . . . ohhhh you will not question me or my love if you will look for me and find me. 

Is this not awesome!?! God is talking and I hear him!! Do you hear him?

Speak Lord, for I am listening.  I know that what you say is important and necessary for me to hear.  Let me respond in a way that is pleasing to you.  Amen.Pin It